Ethos of Intertwine
Ethos of Intertwine
Consent
Boundaries
Edges
Containers
Aftercare
Community
Shadows
Repair
RBDSM (a tool for living these values)
Consent
At Intertwine, consent is our foundation.
It is not a checkbox. It is not a formality.
It is a living practice — dynamic, embodied, and shared.
A no is a gift.
It tells the truth, and it creates safety.
A maybe is an invitation to slow down, to stay curious, to listen more deeply.
And a yes is never permanent — it always has the freedom to become a no.
Be strong in your no’s.
Be confident in your yes’s.
To give either clearly is an act of generosity.
Consent is not asked once and assumed forever.
It is a culture of checking in as things shift and escalate.
Is this ok?
And then asking again:
Is this still ok?
Some assume that ongoing communication ruins the mood.
But here, we know the opposite:
nothing is sexier than certainty.
Nothing is hotter than knowing your partner is a 100% fuck yes —
fully desiring, fully receiving.
Clarity fuels the erotic.
And safety in the erotic lets desire fully unfurl.
Consent is not always spoken.
Bodies tell stories that words sometimes do not.
A pause, a hesitation, a breath that pulls away —
all are signals to be honored.
If something shifts, get curious, check in.
Here, we listen with our ears, our eyes, our hands, our hearts.
Consent is not one-sided.
It is not about one person seeking permission,
but about two or more people co-creating trust.
It is a dance, not a transaction.
And consent is not only about others.
It also begins within ourselves.
It is our responsibility to know our own truth,
to speak it with courage,
to honor our edges and name our boundaries.
Only then can we meet one another in trust.
Consent is liberation.
Boundaries don’t restrict us — they create the container where freedom lives.
When we know we are safe,
we can lean in, explore, and surrender more.
It is in the safety of consent
that intimacy, desire, and play become possible.
Boundaries
Boundaries are the lines of sovereignty.
They are the clear yes and the firm no.
They keep us safe, grounded, and whole.
They are not up for negotiation.
To honor a boundary is to honor the person who holds it.
Boundaries do not restrict play — they allow it.
They are the conditions that make trust possible.
When spoken with courage and received with respect,
boundaries become the foundation of freedom.
Edges
Edges are different from boundaries.
They are thresholds — places of aliveness and growth.
The earth teaches us this:
where forest meets meadow,
where river kisses shore,
where roots press against stone — life multiplies.
In permaculture, the edge effect tells us that these borders,
where ecosystems overlap,
are the most diverse, abundant, and alive.
In wilderness practice, edges are the fine line
between risk and transformation,
where challenge and growth live side by side.
Edges are not always comfortable,
but they are fertile zones of potential,
deserving respect and curiosity.
Edges invite us to lean in with care,
to feel the aliveness of possibility,
to discover what becomes possible when we meet difference.
Containers
Containers hold us.
They are the agreements we make,
the expectations we clarify,
the shared understandings that allow us to step in with confidence.
Containers manage expectations.
And expectations seep into everything we do — especially intimacy.
I thought you wanted me to kiss you.
I assumed we were going to use a condom.
I believed we were exclusive.
When expectations are unspoken or misaligned,
things get messy.
Someone ends up misunderstood, misheard, or even hurt.
Clear expectations build boundaries.
Boundaries create containers.
Containers offer safety.
And in that safety, we can explore.
The more clearly we define what belongs inside a container, and what does not,
the more freedom we find within it.
Aftercare
What we do together does not end when the touch stops.
It is not over when the container closes.
Every encounter leaves an imprint — in the body, in the heart, in the nervous system.
Aftercare is how we tend to that imprint.
Aftercare is not optional.
It is part of our play, part of our culture, part of our care.
It is how we tend to one another,
restoring balance in the wake of emotional highs,
and making sure that exploration closes with care.
Aftercare can be simple — a glass of water, a blanket, a quiet moment together.
It can be tender words, a long embrace, or simply space to breathe.
It can also mean community stepping in,
offering presence when someone needs more than their partner can hold.
It can even be as simple as an agreed-upon text the following day —
a kiss emoji, backed with care.
Aftercare reminds us:
pleasure and vulnerability are two sides of the same coin.
To touch deeply is to open deeply.
To play boldly is to care boldly.
Here, we hold each other through the arc of experience —
not just at the spark of desire,
but all the way through to the settling of the body
and the return to self.
Community
We are not a gathering of strangers.
We are a weaving of shared experience.
Each of us arrives with our own story —
our desires, our fears, our boundaries, our care.
Each of us holds a piece of the culture we are creating together.
Belonging here is not about fitting into a mold.
It is about showing up as you are,
and being received with respect and reverence.
Your truth, your no, your yes, your curiosity —
it all matters.
This is not a stage for performance,
nor a marketplace of bodies.
It is a circle,
where what we create is collective.
We shape the culture together.
We hold it together.
We belong to it, together.
Community is not the backdrop —
it is the center stage.
Every touch, every laugh, every silence,
is part of a larger fabric we are weaving together —
intertwining.
Shadows
Desire is not always simple.
Sometimes it arrives clean and bright.
Other times it carries shadow — shame, fear, taboo.
We honor all of it.
We believe that desire, when spoken and held with care,
is never something to hide.
Shadows are not obstacles — they are invitations.
They are the places where we tremble,
the edges we hesitate to name.
When met with courage,
they become thresholds into power, intimacy, and freedom.
Shame thrives in silence.
But when we bring it into the light —
naming what scares us, what excites us, what we’ve been taught to bury —
shame transforms.
It becomes fuel for connection.
It becomes aliveness in the body.
It becomes play.
We do not separate desire from shadow.
We embrace both.
Because in that union,
we find the deepest intimacy,
the truest surrender,
the rawest freedom.
Repair
Mistakes happen.
Even in communities built on care and intention, ruptures can occur.
What matters is not perfection, but our shared commitment to growth, accountability, and repair.
At Intertwine, repair is part of our culture.
It is how we tend to impact and restore a stronger felt sense of safety.
If you misstep, you agree to participate in repair.
If impact is felt by you, you agree to name it,
to the person involved or to an organizer,
and to take part in the process of repair.
Repair is not blame.
Repair is the practice of listening,
taking responsibility,
and weaving relationship back together.
Patterns of behavior that resist feedback,
or refuse the work of repair,
will result in not being invited to future events.
Rupture is inevitable.
Repair is a choice.
And it is in that choice that trust deepens,
safety is restored,
and community endures.RBDSM
RBDSM is a tool we use to live our values.
It turns sex into conversation,
and conversation into connection.
It helps us embody the culture of consent,
and put boundaries, edges, containers, and care into practice.
RBDSM prompts us to discuss the things that must be spoken,
and invites in the conversations that should never be passed up.
Relationships — Who are you woven to right now? Whose heart or body matters in this choice?
Boundaries — Where do you begin and end tonight? What belongs inside your container, and what does not?
Desires — What do you seek? What stirs you? What do you want to explore within this container?
Safer Sex / STI Discussion — What practices, agreements, or protections keep you whole? What disclosures are relevant?
Meaning / Aftercare — Why are you here? What does this connection, this play, this intimacy mean to you? And when it closes, what would feel good after?
RBDSM is not an interrogation — it is an invocation.
A way of meeting each other fully, before touch, before escalation.
It creates clarity.
It builds trust.
It reveals not only what we want,
but how we love, how we protect, how we play, and how we heal.
Intimacy is layered.
Desire is contextual.
Consent is deepest when it is spoken into story.
RBDSM is not just a prompt.
It is a practice — a tool to bring us out of our heads and into our bodies,
and to remind us that connection begins with conversation.
